Reflections
by ginbob00
Summary: While attending his best friend's wedding, Edward's mind wanders through their shared past and the possibilities of his future.  O/S for Fic A Pic Contest. AH. Edward & Company


A warm breeze gently rustled the paper lanterns that decorated the rooftop on this joyous occasion. Round tables covered in crisp white linens adorned with deep red roses were set up around a makeshift dance floor. The flames from hurricane candles twinkled merrily as twilight slowly faded into night. A small jazz ensemble entertained the guests as they mingled, sipping drinks from the bar located off to the side of a simple, yet elegant tapas buffet. The dance floor was alive with couples swaying and twirling in time to the beat. There in the center, danced a stunning redhead in a long white gown wrapped in the arms of a strikingly handsome tuxedo-clad man. The bride and groom relaxed into each other's embrace as they gently swayed to the music, whispering quietly in each other's ears, promises for tonight and all their days to come.

Edward was enjoying the scene from his quiet corner, smoking a much-needed cigarette and drinking a cold beer he had gratefully accepted from Sam, who deftly whisked the uber-excited and extremely chatty Miss Stanley away in a flurry of "ooh's" and "ah's" over the glamorous attire of those in attendance. Edward chuckled softly to himself, "the poor girl never knew what hit her," he thought. Jessica Stanley was Tanya's administrative assistant at the law firm where both she and Edward had worked since passing the bar. Moving to the city after graduating from college, Jessica was in awe of her glamorous boss and hung on her every word. Tanya, the first to admit that she was not above being the subject of hero worship, had taken the young woman under her wing. She was now in the process of transforming "our dear little country mouse" into a "sophisticated professional". The process began five years ago when Jessica was hired to replace Tanya's former secretary, Jane, who had passed away late one night at her desk while awaiting an important email from the Sydney office. The extremely shaken young security guard who had the misfortune to discover the stern, yet devoted elderly employee's body said that paramedics had to pry the mouse from her cold, dead fingers. The curser still blinked at the end of the of the signature line of the unsent email response that she had been working on when death so rudely interrupted her day. Known for her cool efficiency and unerring reliability, Tanya said that the old girl probably put up quite a fight to complete her task before her departure from this world. Jessica hung on Tanya's every word and took her every suggestion as an order to be fulfilled to the letter. While her over-eager attitude sometimes annoyed Edward, he had to admit that she had come a long way since her legendarily disastrous first day. He admired the courage it took for her to leave her quiet small town life and move to the fast paced, loud and chaotic city. He was aware of her slight crush on him and was careful to remain professionally polite, yet kind to her at all times. Although she had never thrown herself at him as other women had, her flirtatious looks and nervous energy when he was near made him uncomfortable. He had been looking for a means of losing her and Sam, his ever-dashing gay best friend, had offered him the out he needed.

As he watched the bride and groom, Edward's thoughts turned to his oldest friend. Their parents were old friends and, born only a few months apart, it was only natural that they would be close. Tanya was as much a part of his family as he was hers and she had been a part of every major event of his life to date. She had consoled him when his parents told him that he was going to have a little sister. They had made a solemn "pinky swear promise" that if he did not like her, she would help him return her to the hospital and ask for a refund. He smiled as he thought about how he felt when his parents brought Alice home from the hospital. He and Tanya had sat in his room while they waited for his parents to return and speculated on all the ways that having a baby sister would be so terrible. But as he curled up on his father's lap and looked at Alice wrapped in the soft pink blanket, so impossibly tiny and fragile, he knew without a doubt that it was his job alone to protect her from harm. His baby sister was all grown up now and currently staring adoringly into the eyes of one Jasper Whitlock, whom she had introduced to the family only a few months ago at the weekly family Sunday brunch. Jasper had a firm handshake, a lazy Southern drawl and was completely head-over-heels in love with Alice. His strong, quiet strength was a balance to his sister's often overwhelming energy. With Jasper, Alice seemed to have achieved a sense of peace he had never seen in her before. Edward suspected that Alice would soon be planning a wedding of her own.

Through the years, Edward and Tanya had seen each other through the ups and downs of life together. Tanya had stood up to the school bullies who picked on Edward because he preferred to play the piano rather than football and the other sports his older brother, Emmett, seemed to excel at. While the Cullen siblings were close, Edward's relationship with Emmett was far deeper now than when they were growing up. During their adolescence the two brothers rarely agreed on anything and rarely spent time alone together, agreeing on few things with the exception of doting on Alice. Following his return home to attend law school, he and Em began hanging out. Going to the gym or grabbing a drink during happy hour was a welcome distraction from his school workload and, slowly, the brothers grew closer. When Emmett approached Edward about helping him shop for an engagement ring for his long-time girlfriend, Rosalie, he was humbled by the request and suddenly understood just how far the two had come.

While Edward could never be described as a shrinking violet, Tanya was always the more confident of the two and often pushed Edward to achieve more than he would have dared alone. Tall and slim with a natural beauty enhanced by the knowledge that she could get whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, people noticed when Tanya Denali entered the room. Even as a little girl, she had been a force and more than one unsuspecting adult had bent to her will, even if it was completely without their knowledge. Tanya knew early on that she wanted to follow in the family business as an attorney and planned accordingly, graduating with honors from prep school, college and law school. She played as hard as she worked and maintained an active social life filled with a revolving door of men, few holding her attention very long. After a particularly public affair ended in a very public break up, Tanya's confidence seemed to wane for the first time. Edward could still remember her curled into the corner of her couch, dressed in her old Columbia Law sweatshirt and yoga pants and her hair pulled up in a messy bun on the top of her head. Her nose was red and her eyes were swollen from crying. Over red wine and pizza, Edward had offered his usual support and encouragement, but this time she seemed reluctant to accept it.

"No worries Tanya, I am sure you will have another unsuspecting male wrapped around your perfectly polished pinky before the end of the week," he gently teased. Tanya's head snapped towards him abruptly and she screamed in absolute frustration.

"Damn it, Edward! You just don't get it! I am not upset about Ben. Hell, I would have ended it soon anyway if the weather had not changed Little Miss "Coffee, Tea or Me?'s schedule," she said as she sighed heavily. Apparently, Ben was racking up quite a large number of frequent "fuck her" miles with a certain flight attendant who decided he could earn "bonus points" on the ground during an unexpected layover in the city. Imagine his surprise when he and Tanya returned to his place to continue their evening and the elevator doors to his penthouse opened to reveal a half-naked woman. Dressed only in navy blue high heels and a matching trench coat, she was waiting to show him just how friendly the skies could be. Never one to share Tanya made a hasty retreat while Ben stuttered futilely for an explanation. She did manage to leave Ben with a broken nose and several threats to other parts of his anatomy as a reminder of their brief relationship. A return trip to the penthouse to pick up her remaining belongings had been peaceful enough, since Ben was smart enough to make himself absent for the event. She celebrated the occasion by smoking one last cigarette in the bedroom, using the urn containing remains of his doting (and fortune bequeathing) Aunt Dorothy as an ash tray.

"I feel like something is missing. I look around and my life is exactly how I planned but it's not enough. I have never had a meaningful relationship with a man." She held up her hand and shook her head adamantly at my objections.

"No, no stop and just listen! I have certainly had my share of lovers and some are still even friends, but I have never been with someone that I actually cared about. Most of the time, relationships were convenient and easy. They always came second to my career and I was the same to them. I have never "longed" to see someone again or just wanted to share the events of my day, or hear about theirs. They were there or not, it just did not matter. I was eye candy for an event and a booty call later. Trust me that I used them for the same thing," she said as she laughed humorlessly. Raising her head, her bright eyes stared intently into mine as she continued. "I don't need anybody, but I want someone who wants the same from me. I want someone who wants me for who I am and nothing more. "

She smirked and released a rather un-ladylike snort and said, "I want the relationship we have - with sex."

"You want to have sex with me!" Edward gasped in shock.

"You are such a man! You only listen with your dick! No, I don't want to sleep with you, dumbass!" She smiled softly, and spoke almost shyly, "You get me unlike anyone else ever has. Our friendship is comfortable and easy and I can just be me. You support me unconditionally, yet knock me down a peg or two when I become too self-absorbed. Unfortunately, sex with you would be akin to incest. No pun intended of course."

As his brain slowed down and he considered all that she had told him, Edward nodded and relaxed back in to his chair. He quietly reflected on her words and considered all she had revealed. Edward's first instinct had been to help his friend and if she _needed_ him to be her lover, he had to consider it. There was no denying Tanya's beauty and he would not be honest if he said that she was not attractive, but he also found it difficult to see her as a lover. He also understood what she said about relationships and an array of Boyfriends Past scrolled through his head. He knew that it was not a comprehensive list, and for each one he met, there were an unknown number who never made it that far into her life. Tanya rarely talked about her relationships while she was actually dating the guy. He usually discovered that she had been with someone else when she introduced him to the next one. Even at school, she had dated casually and never spent too much time with any one guy. The lack of promising young men invited to participate in family functions did not go unnoticed by Tanya's overbearing, yet well-meaning mother. She began to inquire about the families of her recent dates, asking subtle questions here or there. She also began to stay at home more on the evenings that Tanya had plans, and would invite the unsuspecting gentlemen into their Manhattan brownstone for proper introduction, much to her daughter's irritation. Wanting to put an end to her mother's new favorite pastime, Tanya decided to take matters into her own hands. She began inviting gentlemen to join the family on outings, each more and more outrageous then the next. Vegans wearing hemp necklaces and sandals had lunch at the country club, cowboy boots graced the greens on the golf course and black nail polished fingers broke bread alongside the new state Senator at dinner. Finally she arrived for a weekend in the Hamptons on the back of a Harley driven by a man at least ten years her senior whose need for clothing to cover his body was dramatically reduced by the amount of ink and piercings adorning it. Mr. Denali intervened and told his wife that Tanya's point was well made and that she would bring home whom she chose when she was ready. Until then, he requested that his eldest daughter refrain from sharing her flavor of the moment with the family until she was seriously considering settling down with him. Pleased by the turn of events, Tanya happily returned to her usual social life and her father no longer had to deflect questioning stares and open hostility from his colleagues, friends and family as they were forced to endure each new guest.

Shortly after the tearful, and somewhat awkward, confessional, Tanya met Jake at a dinner party hosted by a mutual client. Jake was an investment banker from Seattle, Washington who had moved to the city following a promotion within his firm. As a member of the Quileute tribe, he had worked hard and attended the University of Washington on full scholarship, completing his bachelor's degree and earning a MBA in just four years. He climbed the corporate ladder quickly, but his long-time girlfriend missed the presence of her family and the simple life of the reservation. As their relationship deteriorated, he applied for a transfer. The opportunity in New York was so much more than he had dreamed, but it also forced him to admit to himself that he and Leah wanted different things from life and that their paths were not the same. After helping her move back to the reservation, Jake packed up and boarded a plane for his new life. Jake was tall and athletic with a young, handsome face with strong features. His laid-back disposition belied a strong determination to succeed and his warm smile instantly put potential clients and acquaintances at ease. Seated beside each other during the meal, the two shared an easy conversation and were both surprised as the other guests began to leave .Ever the gentleman, Jake offered to escort Tanya home. A native New Yorker, she scoffed gently, but offered to share a cab with him home. After that night, Edward saw little of Tanya outside of the office and even less of her without Jake by her side.

At first, Edward feared that his friend was having some sort of early mid-life crisis and had fallen in love with the idea of love with the first man who showed any interest. After meeting him, Edward had no doubt that Jake's feelings for his friend were just as deep and intense as hers and just over a year later, Jake asked Edward to join him for a beer after work. Tanya was unable to join them because she was finishing a brief for a particularly wealthy, and challenging, client due the next morning. Edward noticed right away the trace of unfamiliar uncertainty in the other man's eyes. After the beers and a basket of wings were delivered, Jake cleared his throat and directed his attention to Edward.

"Um, so I am going to ask Mr. Denali for permission to marry Tanya and I was hoping that you could help me out. You know, offer some pointers on how to approach him? What do you think he will say," Jake asked hurriedly leaning closer to Edward searching for answers. Edward was stunned. Although he had wondered about the purpose of the surprise invitation, a marriage proposal was definitely not on his radar. But as he considered the man across from him, he suddenly realized that he should not be surprised. It was not that he did not believe that his friend had found the person she would spend the rest of her life with, it was the idea of Tanya getting married that was harder to grasp. Although she had never shown an aversion to the institution, she valued her independence above all else. It was difficult for him to imagine Tanya as half of a pair, especially if that other half was not him. What would he do now that she had someone else? Edward quickly shook his head to clear that thought away and took a deep breath as he sought to put the other man out of his misery.

"Well Jake, I would venture to guess that he will tell you that you should ask her and not him and then wish you luck because you 're gonna need it," he said with a chuckle. "I recommend buttering him up with a good steak, a warm scotch and an expensive cigar out of the house and away from his wife and he will agree to just about anything." As recent physical had shown that his cholesterol was on the rise and his physician recommended he should to cut back on the red meat, alcohol and tobacco he so loved. The news seemed to relax Jake and he took a long pull from his bottle. A few beers later, Jake looked over at Edward thoughtfully and said, "I was a little concerned about how you would take the news. You and Tanya have known each other since birth and she loves you like a brother. Without your support, I am afraid I would lose her."

Edward was quiet for a moment while he considered his response. "Truthfully, this is unchartered territory for me. Tanya has been there my entire life and to think that is going to change has not really sunk in for me, but seeing her as happy as she is with you makes it easier. That being said, I feel that I should warn you that if you ever hurt her, I will have to kill you," he finished by jokingly gripping Jake's shoulder playfully.

Jake raised both hands in mock surrender, while nodding his head in agreement, "Sure, sure! Whatever you say, man!" Just then Tanya slid into Jake's side and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

"What's going on here Cullen? Are you threatening my man here? I won't tolerate that shit from you. I can still take you down!," she said with a mock look of aggression. This time it was Edward's turn to feign intimidation and he assured her that everything was fine. "That's what I thought," Tanya replied with a sniff. "Now which one of you is buying me a beer? I am exhausted!"

A shared holiday visit to Washington had sealed the deal and the couple came back wearing matching love struck smiles as they shared the news with excited friends and family. As they worked late one night in Edward's office, Tanya sighed and stood up to stretch her legs. "Can you believe that I am getting married," said with the hint of wonder coloring her voice. Edward put down his pen and looked up at his friend. "This is really happening, right? Jake is not just some elaborate hallucination or the imaginary lover of one of my multiple personalities, is he? I am not going to wake up with morning with a hell of a hangover beside someone whose name I can't remember and realize it was all a just a dream, right?"

Edward could not help but smile at his friend. "Well if you are dreaming, then we are selling that rock on your left hand and taking one hell of a vacation," he declared with a chuckle. She instantly covered her left hand protectively with her right then clutched them to her chest as she playfully growled at him. He became serious for a moment asked his friend, "Are you sure this is what you want Tanya? You can still change your mind if you have any doubts."

She smiled comfortingly and turned to face him. "I have never been more certain about anything in my life. Jake doesn't need me Edward, he _wants_ me and I feel the same about him," she said with conviction. Edward smiled and said, "Then I guess I will see you at the church on Saturday. " Tanya grinned backed at him, "I'll be the one in white."

Edward took a final drag on his cigarette and stabbed out the butt on the side of the wall before depositing it in his now empty beer bottle. As he surveyed the scene around him, he caught his father's eye as he approached. When he arrived he leaned against the wall beside his youngest son.

"She looks really happy doesn't she?" he asked. Edward only hummed and nodded in reply.

"How are you holding up?"

Edward turned to look at his father who gazed at him with a note of parental concern. Edward took a deep breath and ran his hands through his ever- disheveled hair before he spoke. "I may be in denial and I am sure it has not sunk in yet, but even though our relationship will change, I know that I will always be there for her if she needs me. That will never change, but she has someone else to turn to first now. I have to settle as back up. I think I can be okay with that." His father only nodded in understanding.

"Well, you had better go take your mother for a spin around the dance floor before she drinks any more champagne and tries to lead. " He chuckled softly and patted my arm before he walked away. He smiled as he thought of his parents' relationship. As a child, he assumed all parents loved each other and openly displayed affection. Only later did he realize that Carlisle and Esme Cullen were the exception and not the rule. At prep school, he watched as parents screamed at each other and used their children as pawns in their intricate game to see who could leave the deepest wound. Today, it seemed to be all or nothing with the women he met. Either they wanted forever, complete with wedding bells, minivan, two-point five kids and a golden retriever running around the front yard. Or else just one night without even sharing a cup of coffee, much less a phone number or a lunch date. He knew there was more and was surrounded by examples, maybe all he needed to do was look.

Gracefully, he hopped down from his perch on the wall and began to make his way toward his mother to fulfill his unspoken obligation of a dance or two. He came to stop in front of his mother who was in a conversation with Alice and an unfamiliar young woman with long chestnut brown hair who stood with her back to him. His mother glanced up and smiled at him warmly.

"Oh there you are Edward! Have you met Jacob's best friend from home, Bella?"


End file.
